Disclosure

What you do when a child discloses sexual abuse is crucial and will impact on their later recovery from the whole experience.

Children need to feel listened to, believed, cared about and safe after they have told. If a child chooses you as their ‘safe person’ and discloses abuse, the following guidelines might help:

• Remain calm – trust that you will be able to get yourself and the child the help you need to handle the situation.
• Take responsibility for making sure the child is now kept safe. This should be your priority and if you need help, call Oranga Tamariki
• Stay emotionally connected to the child and their emotional needs, regardless of your own feelings at that moment. Keep your reactions to yourself until you have time away from the child to work through.
• Listen to what the child is telling you and take it seriously. Believe them and accept what they tell you. Say “Thank you for telling me, I believe you.”
• Don’t interrogate or question too much about what has happened, even though your parental instincts will mean you want to know every detail. Your child might withdraw in the face of such questioning. It is best to leave it for a trained expert to question them at a later time.
• Children need to have what they say taken seriously and your reaction will have a big impact on their journey from this point. It is your role to take the responsibility for making sure they are safe now and keeping them safe. They may also need access to professional help if they have behavioural problems like high anxiety or distress.